WANTED
by Lava Toad:
Photograph of an actual lava toad, or information leading to the discovery of a photograph of a lava toad.
Purpose: Ben's web site.
Reward: Seeing it on Ben's web site.
Punishment: Never getting to hear the story of Joe's inspiration for the song "Lava Toad," or why he sang the original version in a French accent, or why all the information regarding lava toads was destroyed from all libraries, databases, and privately owned encyclopedias immediately after his alleged viewing of the so-called lava toad.
Note to Ben: We would like a picture of a real lava toad somewhere on our web site--preferably on the same page as Sadie, the Big-Head Dog. We've been looking for one for six years. Not so much in the last 5.92 years, but pretty hard for about a month.
by Lava Toad:
Photograph of an actual lava toad, or information leading to the discovery of a photograph of a lava toad.
Purpose: Ben's web site.
Reward: Seeing it on Ben's web site.
Punishment: Never getting to hear the story of Joe's inspiration for the song "Lava Toad," or why he sang the original version in a French accent, or why all the information regarding lava toads was destroyed from all libraries, databases, and privately owned encyclopedias immediately after his alleged viewing of the so-called lava toad.
Note to Ben: We would like a picture of a real lava toad somewhere on our web site--preferably on the same page as Sadie, the Big-Head Dog. We've been looking for one for six years. Not so much in the last 5.92 years, but pretty hard for about a month.
posted by:
|
Seattle
|
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 9:10 AMIs it possilbe that Uncle Joe is full of shit and there's no such thing as the lava toad animal? -
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 11:26 AMi have a postcard of a jackalope...be creative benj -
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 12:00 PMOh, I have no problem attempting to create an image of a lava toad if it in fact does not exist. But I do know that Uncle Joe claims that they actually do exist. If none can be found I can create a picture of one. That's what Photshop its for. -
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 12:13 PMhee hee, right on ben, i knew you'd be on it!
could this be the critter?
Boreal Toad (Bufo boreas boreas): Toads are seldom seen due to their secretive nature and because they are usually only active at night. Adults are from 2 to 5 inches in length with the female being slightly larger than the male. The toad walks rather than hops, and the gait is awkward and slow. The color is tan, gray, or rust. As many as 16,000 eggs may be laid by one female, and they must be laid in water. The tadpoles reach 1 1/2 inches in length and transform into small toads in a month to six weeks. The absence of surface water in Lava Beds makes one wonder why the toad is found here at all. This toad is common in the Medicine Lake area, twelve miles to the south of the monument. Specimens have been found in the seasonal housing area; however, the possibility cannot be overlooked that those found in the monument have been brought in by visitors travelling between Medicine Lake and Lava Beds. The toad feeds on insects, spiders, and worms. This toad breathes through the skin, the floor of the mouth, or the lungs. A sticky tongue, attached at the front of the mouth, is used for catching prey. Behind each eye is located a poison gland, which produces a substance that is distasteful and produces a burning sensation in the eyes. The eyes are large for seeing in dim light. -
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 12:15 PM -
-
Jessica: Buffo Indeed
Tue, February 22, 2005 - 2:22 PMHm . . . lava . . . toad . . . that does make a person think "lava toad"--and the one in the top left corner looks just the way I picture them. But I forgot to mention that, according to the highly reliable eye-witness account of Uncle Joe, the elusive lava toad lives in Hawaii.
"Behind each eye is located a poison gland, which produces a substance that is distasteful and produces a burning sensation in the eyes."
Ah, what a cruel joke of nature: poison glands behind each eye that produce a burning sensation where? In the eyes. That DOES sound like something that would only befall the ill-fated lava toad, but, no, I'd don't think this is proof that he exists.
-
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 12:21 PMoh never mind the calherps link, this one is more fun!
(unless you have dial-up) -
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 12:27 PMoh yeah, the link
www.duke.edu/~jspippen/w...on2004-3.htm
the picture is near the end of these photos of the devastated area surrounding Mount St. Helens.
-
-
-
"I do know that Uncle Joe claims that they actually do exist."
Tue, February 22, 2005 - 2:03 PMYES! It makes me so happy that you remember that!
"If none can be found I can create a picture of one. That's what Photshop is for."
Spoken like a true master.
-
-
-
Is it possilbe that Uncle Joe is full of shit?
Tue, February 22, 2005 - 1:39 PMPff. Duh!
-
-
Re: APB
Sun, February 20, 2005 - 12:10 PM -
-
Stephanie: "I doubt you will want this . . ."
Tue, February 22, 2005 - 2:29 PMNot want it? Utter foolishness! We must have it.
Web Master of the Universe: Take note! -
-
Re: Stephanie: "I doubt you will want this . . ."
Tue, February 22, 2005 - 2:45 PMNoted.
*scribble scribble -
-
Damn.
Wed, March 2, 2005 - 2:04 AMWell, it seems to be official. Chris's sister, Punk Rock Sally, had the good sense to e-mail the Hawaiian Volcano National Park, and, alas, this was their reply:
From: <Elizabeth_Bell@nps.gov>
Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2005 13:54:49 -1000
To: Spatula <deleted@younosyfucks.com>
Subject: Re: volcano wildlife question
Sorry, no one here has ever heard of a lava toad. Take a look at this website:
www.nps.gov/labe/pphtml/subanimals1.html
[End]
The link they give seems to be one that Jessica looked at, because it has the same information (with the poisonous eyes and the sticky tongue and the--oy, it hurts).
I like the part about walking rather than hopping. Silly toad--he can't even be a toad right.
-
-
-
