It is official. We have handed over our birth certificates, name change documents, immunization records, and Washington driver's licenses, watching stoically as they were desecrated with hole punches and rendered useless for resale to identity thieves. Our heads were shaved and deloused, and we underwent cavity searches, decontamination baths, and unflattering photos. We answered the questions of our interrogators, telling them what they wanted to hear in order to show that we accept your laws as our own. A woman was shockingly, inexplicably cruel to me in the way that only civil servants seem to be capable.

We have joined your forces, and now we are free to walk and, yes, even drive among you. We no longer have to swallow Dexedrine by the handfuls to ward off sleep, and keep our faces expressionless, stifling screams at the sight of dogs with human heads. The State of California has successfully broken our spirits and taught us to feel nothing. By the time we walked out of the DMV, we had abandoned our plan to return and open fire on the cruelest of the guards. We understand now, and we submit to your ways. We will no longer try to fight, because we have seen the truth: that this way is better for everyone.